Don't get caught up in the offenses of others...Not thought about it much, until now.

“Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend” Psalms 15:1-3.

One of the functions of Christ's people is to tend to the sufferings of those we fellowship with. It is so tempting, however, to take up someone's offense against another as we seek to console or encourage them. There is very little wisdom in this and it certainly is not scriptural. Sometimes hurt feelings are due to  misunderstanding, differing opinions, a rebellious spirit, or the inability to handle admonishment because of immaturity. There are always two sides to a story, and it would not be an intelligent individual that acts on or forms an opinion based on one side or without all the facts.

When I'm offended, it is so easy to want to seek sympathy from individuals who are naive to the situation, and in a sense, spreading the disease. Of course they will side with me, they trust me to speak truth. Truth is so easily lost when there is emotion tied to a situation though. We think we are telling the truth, and most of it probably is, but expecting someone to side with you when they only know one side of the story is taking advantage of the individual. We should love and encourage a friend with hurt feelings, but reserve our opinions and avoid taking sides. We do not want to find ourselves participating in others' sins by becoming offended by the situation.

I wonder how many times we jump to the emotional rescue of friends by taking on a similar opinion of the "bad" person simply from their "bad" experience. The offense is not between us and the "bad" person, so when the situation is resolved and forgiveness has prevailed, where does that leave us? We aren't given the chance to forgive, and therefore, we carry the negative feelings that weren't even ours to carry in the first place.

Soooooo, the moral of the story is to leave sin alone! I have learned this to the nth degree in the past few months. It isn't easy, but leave the sin at its source, and don't carry it with you. What good does it do to offer to get sick with someone? Instead, offer something to heal the situation, and many times this just means keeping your mouth shut. Yes, even when it doesn't seem just or fair.

Grandma Boley: There can never be another one like her!

Before Grandma was scheduled to have surgery to remove the cancer within her body, many of us wrote letters that she could read as encouragement while she was in the hospital. I was asked to share this letter with you that I wrote:

Grandma,

Today you need to know how much I love you and am so thankful to call you my grandmother.  You are such a beautiful woman, both inside and out. You are so strong and are the rock of our family.   Thank you for teaching us what love is and showing us what it feels like to be so loved.  You have helped me become who I am. I have had one of those days where I wonder how other mothers do what they do.  Being a mother and doing it well is hard work!  I often think about how you did all you did and how my mom did all she did. However you did it, you did it well!  I pray I can be the kind of mother that you are and taught my mother to be! I have always admired your calm nature with your husband, children and grandchildren.  There is so much I am seeking to display in my own life that I have seen you display. There is no greater calling in life than to be a wife and mother.  You and my mother have shown me what it is to embrace both rolls and to make them my priority.

Thank you.

I love you,

Karoline

Grandma has given us the gift of generational faithfulness. In Deuteronomy 6:5-7 it says “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children.”

The statistics are overwhelmingly clear that if we do not lead our children intentionally, passionately, fervently, to know God and love Him while they are in our homes, the likelihood of them giving their lives to Christ later in life is slim. Why is this? It is because God has given the greatest responsibility and power of evangelism to parents. The very nature of who grandma was was an impression on her children, grandchildren, and all those around her.

I remember a plaque that Grandma had hanging in her kitchen at the A-frame in Lexington. It was Proverbs 31 and is my first memory of what the Bible has to say about what a Godly wife and mother is. I would like to read it to you, because it is a very accurate description of who Grandma was!

¹⁰A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Thank you Grandma for giving our family the gift of faith displayed through the love of your Savior, your friends and your family!

Grandma is receiving her reward and she so badly wants us all to be there to enjoy it with her someday!

Not Your Ordinary Man…

Many times I find myself stopping just to take a gaze,

At the man I call my husband, I am blessed in so many ways!

Ten years ago I married a man, but not the ordinary kind,
He’s much more than I ever prayed for, more than I thought I would ever find.

He has shown me what it is to love me like Christ’s church was loved too,
And he works so hard to lead us like so very few men do.

Some days I’m married to Mr. Steady, his ways are tried and true.
Other days it’s Mr. Visionary, with ways that are so new.

He has given me so much freedom to be the Mom God wants me to be,
I get to show our little ones I love them, and staying home has been the key!

He works so hard to present me pure before his risen King,
He honors his vows in every way, like he promised with a ring.

I could have searched the world many times over to find someone more fit to wed,
But I know with all my heart that it is only him to whom my heart was lead.

Reflecting back over the past ten years brings  more joy than I can explain,
I wouldn’t change a single moment, the good, the bad, the pain.

Thankful is what I am that God saw me fit to be a helper just for you,
I want to be even better as God searches me through and through!

I can’t even begin to list the ways that he’s no ordinary man,
But thank you God for giving me Jason as your perfect loving plan.

The next ten years I promise still to love you with all I’ve got,
I would do it again, and again and again, without another thought.

Jason Gantt, you are my husband and I honor you today,
Together with our awesome God, there is no other way.

Just getting started...

I'm really excited to have a place to write. So much is happening in our lives right now and we are learning so much. I find myself trying to keep it all in my head, and sometimes I feel like I might explode. Some of it is frustrating, but mostly it's life changing lessons that God is showing my family and I. We are so thankful for the journey He is taking us on. As painful as some of our experiences are, we wouldn't trade them for anything. We are becoming more God focused and much more aware of what God is capable of when we aren't trying to direct His steps! We do not want to limit God, and we do not want to tell Him what is best for us! God is BIG, much bigger than our circumstances and our ability to know what is best for ourselves. I use to be afraid to let God have full control (but of course, who would ever admit that, right?) because deep down I knew he would tell us to get ourselves up and move on to something healthy and God ordained. I so badly want to be a flawless executioner of his word and plan for my life. In this pursuit I have come to realize that His word can change everything, and it has! My life may look much different than those around me, and chances are it may even offend those around me, but in the end, it just isn't my decision as to what my life is. It is, however, up to me to give those around me the same freedom to be molded into what God wants them to be. Perfect unity is so much more than being alike, it's about being like minded! Can you imagine a fellowship of believers that accepted each other, strengths and weakness, and made it a priority to spur one another on to the good works that were prepared in advance for them to do? Instead, I see so much acting out according to insecurities. People are trying to hurt before they get hurt, fire before they get fired, blame before they get blamed...you get the picture. There is very little responsibility taken for actions anymore and so many cowards are hiding in the shadows of their own guilt. God is calling us to something so much greater than this! God can use our differences and our past mistakes to make something wonderful. We have to allow him the freedom to do so though. This is where we limit God through our insecurities. What a mess we make when we label relationships "not worth trying anymore." My husband has approached a few people in the last few weeks trying to meet with them and obtain a healthy closure on a less than ideal situation. I'm so taken back by the negative response, and in some cases, no response at all. Situations left like this are anything but what God would want. He calls us to resolve conflict, but unfortunately it takes two willing parties. Instead, we are left to shake the dust off and move on. I pity those that are unable to face conflict with a BIG God mentality. I am learning what this means, and it means that God is big enough to bring healing in any situation and in any relationship. My eyes are open and I want to claim God's healing power in all situations!